| While it's not quite perfect, it's getting there. The one stressful part of my life at the moment is my dad. Not stressful in the stereotypical father-daughter way. Stressfull in the "I'm worried about my dad the way no daughter should ever have to be" way. My dad is severely depressed, to the point of contemplating suicide. He has recently been talking to me and other member of my family about having himself committed. He said the only time he is ever happy is when he's with me, Mik, and the kids; that we're the only thing that keeps him sane. Now, Mikhail could have taken this many different ways. He definatly did not take it any way I would have ever expected, and it made me love him so, so much more. And I loved him a lot to begin with. He wasn't passive about it. He wasn't turned off by it. He was beyond supportive, not just of me and how I was taking it, but of my dad. He looked at me and asked, since we are the only thing that makes him happy, why not move in with him? I was floored. He went on to say, we could start by cleaning up my dad's house (not only is he depressed, he has eight ruptured discs in his back and neck, and my little sister doens't lift a finger to help him clean. Plus he works nine to thirteen hour days. Needless to say, his house is trashed), fix up the two rooms in the attic for me and the kids, and move in. My dad is lonely. My little sister is hardly there and when she is, she doens't talk to him about anything other than asking for money. So having Mikhail and I around to help clean, and the kids around to play with would pretty much mean more to him than anything in the world. Plus he and Mik have been collaborating musically, so he would lvoe to have him right there to record and whatnot. Honestly it would be beneficial for us, also. All we really want is a house. We definatly cannot afford one on our own and probably never would as long as we live in LPV, the way they suck out every last drop of your pay. Subsidized Housing is a joke and hurts more than it helps. I feel like this is the only way I will be able to get off welfare any time soon (aside from Medical Access and energy assistance). My dad makes enough money to pay all his bills, for the most part, aside from his electric bill (in the winter time), mainly. But he makes too much money for how few people live there to get any kind of payment plan or anything. Us moving in would change that, plus my payckeck would add extra money for help paying bills or any other little things that aren't necessary. We'd have a cat (one of the few little things we both want and miss). We'd have cable (omg), and we'd be closer to most of my fam and two of Mikhail's grandmas. Plus, I could actually SAVE money for the first time... ever. It would be beautiful not to have my entire paycheck spent paying bills the very same day I get it. Mikhail and I have been talking about getting married, and the only factor that's missing is money. Also, we were tlaking about having another baby (no, not any time soon. We're not COMPELTE idiots). But we both want a daughter. For this, we would also need some savings. My dad is all for the idea, the only drawback is he's worried Jaynie will be mad. And you know what? FUCK THAT. She's half the reason he's miserable in the first place. She's a slobblish, picky, and selfish. If she has any problem with us moving in, I KNOW it's because she knows I would make her help out around the house and would make her treat dad better. She'll probably move out as soon as she graduates anyways, so this really shouldn't be an issue for her. Mikhail and I decided that we're going to start cleaning Dad's house reguardless of whether we're moving in or not. While we're there, if I hear that Jaynie is giving dad ANY static about it, I will sit her ass down and straighten her priorities right the fuck out. This whole idea has made my dad so happy, and if she even gives me one eye roll about it I'll drop her to the ground like she's a whiney twelve year old again. Despite having lived on my own the past three years, I feel like moving in with my dad is a step forward instead of back. It feels liek the right thing to do, for everyone in the situation. I just can't believe that it was Mikhail's idea in the first place. It is honestly the most loving and caring gesture any boyfriend has ever bestowed upon me. What's sad is I feel like he cares more about my dad and his well being than my own sister does. All that being said... if I ever hear anyone say anything bad about Mikhail in my presense, I will straight punch them in the face. I don't care who they are. He has an unfair reputation and I'm tired of it. He's an amazing father and boyfriend. This morning, I woke up at around seven becaue I could hear the kids playing in their room. I crept out of bed as quietly as possible because I know Mikhail didn't get to sleep until around five. Just as I was getting ready to go out our bedroom door, I heard the bed move. I looked over, and in his sleep he was feeling around to spoon with me. I could have cried. Not finding me kind of woke him up and he felt around the whole bed and opened his eyes. Then he saw me in the doorway and blew a kiss. And my heart melted. I'm so glad I didn't walk out of the room a minute earlier so I could see that. I think I'm going to go wake him up with kisses right now. : ) |
